Relationship Trust and Faith
30.11.2015 | 8:32
by Dave Cogan
«I trusted you, and you ….» is a common reproach of the people who are disappointed in trust and faith of their relationships. Relationships trust and faith: what does it mean? Why does it happen so often that you lose faith in the partner so easily?
Faith and trust play an important tole in relationships. Faith is a more abstract sense, due to the fact that we are passing our fate over into the hands of another person. Trust is more specifically related feeling that we can test in a range of everyday life situations. This means that if you sweetheart is delayed, he’s really at work, and that a pretty girl you’ve seen with him is really his younger sister.
Let’s examine how relationships emerge and grow based on faith and trust.
How Does it Work?
Both a man and a woman set certain goals and strive for the best when choosing a partner and tend to see the embodiment of their dreams in a beloved or chosen one. They also tend to attribute non-existent objects of adoration in his or her qualities and interpret his or her actions accordingly. Women tend to sacrificial love: they are targeted at boundless faith in their men from the very beginning.
However, their own illusions have always been their worst enemies. What happens then? People enter new relationships, everyone automatically assumes responsibility for one another, but not everyone understands this, especially when one cannot yet be responsible even for himself.
Though, the relationships cause the changes in personal life, the same old life does not disappear. Friends, hobbies, temptations, old habits. This all can irritate. People not always can resist the entreaties of friends, circumstances and so on and that’s how the trust collapses among seemingly the strongest couples.
Variety of social bias and public opinions can spoil the trust between people too. Many men think that a real «macho» is necessary to have a lot of sexual connections, and even while sincerely in love with his girl, he’s trying to fit a predetermined behavior pattern.
One of the major mistakes that lead to the collapse of faith and trust in relationships, is excessive demands. You have to understand that your partner is an ordinary man, he lives his life, he has his past and present, and he can not dissolve in love with you completely. A person needs personal space, and he is ready to save that even by means of cheating.
Faith should not hold unfounded illusions and obscure the true meaning of human actions. Do not idealize the partners, then you won’t have them disappointed.
It is important to discuss everything from the beginning, because it is the same case that for one may look like a trifle, and for another — a real tragedy. It is important to establish common rules and limits of faith and trust for both partners, though women are more likely to find themselves under the risk of being misunderstood.
Let’s figure it out why they often want a serious relationship, but are impossible to create them. Here they have a great internal conflict and even have no idea about that. And the conflict is that a woman wants serious relationships, but at the same time does not move them because of the lack of trust to men.
Lack of Trust to the Opposite Sex
Many of you had a bad experience in relationships with men when you believe them, and they deceive your expectations. And this fear of a failure repetition slows down the development of the personality and further work on building serious relationships with someone else.
«I really want serious relationships, I want sex, I want to create a normal family, but I do not get anything. I am seeking a man, like a good, charming, sweet, etc. But I do not give a course of this relationship. I can not, because I do not believe men. How to solve this problem in relationships with men? Cause I do not trust anyone anymore…»
In fact this is already a psychological complex which is more widely spread among women than men. It needs analysis, deep understanding of the problem and serious approach to get rid of it.
Analisis of the Problem
You believed men. At some point you have a failure in dealing with them, and suddenly there is disbelief as the result. You say:»I do not trust men anymore.» When you have everything going well, according to your desires and the plan, then your faith in men is stronger. As soon as something goes wrong, not the way you want, your faith immediately turns into disbelief. With such an approach, your faith is a complete fake!
You’re hooked on something that is cheap, that brings you suffering and problems. You live in fear, because you are afraid of any new relationships. And it’s all because of this fear, that you do not create a new relationship. Simply, because all new will ruin your entire system of false beliefs and you will have to create all of them anew.
A different case is when you trust the men. Then you do not actually need any faith in them. That’s when you have the absolute power to discover love, life and laughter without any delusion or false pretenses. You just need to reinvent yourself, and get rid of all the pitfalls that are piled on you. There is no need to cling to that pitfalls. This very feature is your worse enemy in the situation.
At the moment, when you throw off the whole load of all your problems, you can open your heart to the vast world of harmony, that all waited and waited for you behind all those life perils and pitfalls. If you are through with the realizing of your deep problem you can pass to the steps of recovering from it.
10 Extra Ways to Gain Faith Back
If you want to fight your complex, and get prepared for the new relationships and do not repeat the same mistakes, you should deal with 10 simple extra ways and regain your faith in men.
- Talk about your feelings openly.
You should speak up your feelings and admiration, you should speak up everything.
- Forget about interrupting people.
If you interrupt, no one will listen to you either. That won’d do. Or, conversely, is it a man who has a habit of interrupting you?
- Explain your actions.
If you have been chatting with your ex-boyfriend 3 days long over your mobile phone, explain the situation, but their is no need to report, why you are so dressed up for a small bachelorette party. You just ant it, and period.
- Never questioned him about the past.
By doing this, you are forcing him to defend and lie.
- Think twice if you make a scene.
«Why?» and «For what reason?» are two different questions, and before making a scandal, you’d better ask a question number two.
- Be interested in his plans.
When men blurt out about some expectations associated with both of you, that means nothing till the expectations are real actions. So, let it go. This does not mean that you are obliged to restructure yourself and fit faster into his expectations.
- Learn to listen.
Really. Listen to people without thinking about something meanwhile.
- Do not try to change the partner.
This rule is global. The more frequent and annoying your tries to change someone are, the more he resists, and the level of trust automatically falls. It’s common. You can practice that at any person and you will se that you will fail.
- FORGET the phrase like «It’s none of your business!»
There are much more subtle ways of protecting your personal space, you should mind that!
- Stay realistic, no matter what.
If you regularly catch a man on cheating or lies, it’s hardly possible that any sincerity and trust ever arise between you.
To Sum Up
According to psychologists, there may be several reasons for the crisis of faith and trust in any relationships: your being insincere with yourself or with the partner which a man definitely feels, the partner lies to you, your being either overly controlling, or over controlled, your uncertainty of yourself, your status in a relationship or in life and a trifle infirmity.
Apart from the above mentioned steps that help to overcome the complex, there is also much more information you can use if you ant to have a deeper insight into the faith and trust relationship issues.
If you have any suggestions, put them here, do not forget to share and comment on the topic.