2 minutes of pain: about male fears, masturbation and Viagra

13.01.2016 | 11:47

Dave Cogan

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by Dave Cogan

The issues on sexual health and general well-being are interrelated and often are connected with male fears, masturbation issues and use of Viagra. Today we are going to discuss them under the scrutiny as male fears often are the major problem predecessors.

2 minutes of pain: about male fears, masturbation and Viagra

Anxious sexual failure expectation syndrome is a state when approaching the orgasm causes anxiety, and excitement interrupts. This excitement is reduced, an erection is deteriorating, and intercourse becomes impossible. The following trouble may lie in the basis of many sexual problems with different men. This in turn prompts them using medications like Viagra or abuse masturbation, etc.

Almost half of men is seeking help from a sexologist, those who suffer the syndrome mostly, although it can manifest itself in different ways. Most often this is a classic pattern: there is an excitement in the process of petting, you have an erection and desire of intercourse, but as soon as it becomes clear that the sexual act is about to take place, there is uncertainty about what is possible and what’s not, it increases the confusion and the desire. And  here is what the man was afraid of! The doubt became a pretext for the failure.

The doubt became a pretext for the failure.

There are different reasons for the fear and anxieties emergence: education, self alarming, the behavior of the partner, intercourse situation, the absence of a special attraction to the partner, the availability of more powerful factors (problems at work, at home, the disease — from the flu to the pain in the back, etc.), an attempt to commit intercourse exceeding the physiological needs (for example, the fifth intercourse per date), etc.

However, we can say that the basis of disease is always your fear. The fear of to not satisfy a woman, fear not to have an erection, fear of premature ejaculation, fear of the presence of strangers, fear of infection, etc. Some men consider Viagra to be a way out instead of fighting the initial reasons.

«I got diabetes when I was twenty and before that, sex with my wife was incredible. My companion instructed me to take some Viagra and I did. I took a 25mg dosage 15 minutes before sex on an unfilled stomach. That night was unfathomable! That was the hardest and greatest I’ve ever been!» — Age 35, North Carolina

Generally speaking, some uncertainty, fluctuations are inherent to most people when dealing with the unknown. That is why anxiety is more often the first contact with a new partner. On the other hand, it is inherent in the people to get used to repeating the situation and act stereotypically.

Therefore, if a man has ever had a failure, he would be long enough listen to himself more attentively during intimacy, to control the erection, the situation in general, the behavior of the partner, etc. And this stereotype lead to a repetition of the failure, even more tightening and frightening and contributes to constant repetition.

this stereotype lead to a repetition of the failure, even more tightening and frightening and contributes to constant repetition.

«I have been taking Viagra for around 10 years now, I discover its extremely supportive in keeping up my sexual coexistence with my wife of 45 years. Our affection gets more grounded by the day. Extraordinary sex is a genuine blessing, even at our age.» — Age 64, Michigan

Fear and anxiety affect people inclined to mistrust, anxiety, and self-doubt more often. The fear expressed can be formed after the first failure and turn out to be a sexual complex. However, people with a strong nervous system may also be victims of the negative factors that can be repeated over and over again, pumping the situation and summed with memories of previous failures.

Very often a leap of anxiety occurs on a specific moment of intimacy. For example, the introduction of a penis. Or when putting the condom on it. Or, if it’s an oral sex from a partner. In all cases, the erection disappears just when it has to be. It is the opinion of men mostly, but women cannot understand what to do at the moment leaving men to deal with the consequences of this «disobedience». A contradiction between desire and duty lies at the heart of such disobedience

«I must have an erection, otherwise I will be called an impotent, I won’t satisfy the women, will loose self-respect, she will lose respect for me, thinking that I do not like her, etc.» — Eric, 29

Once a person becomes someone who MUST, he immediately ceases to excite. No wonder why people are willing to spend much more time, effort and money on the hobby than on work.

The same applies in bed: while there is no obligation until an erection is not needed until the last caress — it exists and is getting stronger. But as soon as the man (or woman or both partners) rely on the need for an erection, desire disappears, there is a work, which, is again, not exciting.

Anxious sexual failure expectation syndrome has a nasty feature — it worsens over time. Doubts arise earlier and erection does not occur just prior to penetration, during the foreplay: as soon as a man imagines that he would need a penis. Over time, the anxiety will block the erection even before petting — again in anticipation of a future failure. In the end, a man can stop even trying intimacy with the woman, because of the fear of what doesn’t actually exist, if he had not feared it does. A paradoxical picture:

«I’m afraid of intercourse, because it does not work, because I’m afraid of it,  although I do not remember when I tried one last time — and therefore the failure remained so far, it is unclear, if it all have passed away…». — Paul, 31

For such men, the only help will be a good psychologist or other specialist consultations. The sexologist services include the provision of qualified medical assistance to men and women with disabilities in the sexual sphere: premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, decreased sex drive or lack of orgasm, frigidity, disharmony of sexual relations, problems of both personal and intimate nature, etc. 

For such men, the only help will be a good psychologist or other specialist consultations

The truth is that men who have anxiety issues shouldn’t at first appeal to Viagra pills. It can worsen their condition, really. They need to first cope with the psychological problems if any, and then with their physiological consequences.

Write your comments and suggestions if any and take care of your sexual health and relationships!

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